Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
You know I wanna smack that; tap that
Going to attack
Don't F with da Brat
You know where I'm at
Only in my head, some homeless guy shouts "Yer on the bus; SHUT UP!" The homies exit at the next stop...just as the token drunk guy stumbles on. He sits down right in front of me. I get a gusting whiff of gin, just as he leans his head forward and stretches one hand back over his seat for stability. He is swaying somewhat and it looks as if he is dizzy. I am now torn as to whether I want the bus driver to go faster and get me off the bus quicker, or slow down so this guy doesn't ralph right in front of me. Not surprisingly, he gets off after two stops, and I'm saved. Speed up bus driver!
Friday, September 26, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
On a lighter note, a teeny chihuaha got on the bus today for the second day in a row. The doggie owner walks on with carrier in one hand and chihuaha in the other, he sits down and dog licks his hand. He is too cute! And he looks so fragile. I think: My cat would eat this poor puppy for lunch! (I snapped a phone pic of it pretending to text, of course.)
Kitty with a chihuaha tummy ache.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
What's the message here? Maybe...
-Jumpsuits and burlap coming this fall to retailer near you.
-Limit spending with a sack over your head.
-Shop like a scary man and salespeople will leave you be.
-Shop with a bag over your head, and you may come out wearing a red jumpsuit.
I dunno. I'm hoping for a little more insight.
Friday, August 22, 2008
So earlier this week it was pouring outside and a bunch of people were huddled under the bus shelter trying to stay dry when a rather large black woman in a bright yellow shirt came strolling up. “HEY!” she shrieked to an unknowing skinny white guy watching for the bus, “Can I sit there or is this segregated seating?!?” She gestured threateningly with her umbrella at the 2-seater in the shelter. Without a word the dumbfounded man fled from the scene to get away from the loud lady making racist allegations.
She sat down. Her eyes fell upon me. “Oh, God” I thought.
“Hey! What bus are you waiting for?!?” She bellowed.
“Any bus going in that direction.” I replied and pointed.
“Well do you know when the next one comes?!?!” She inquired.
“Nope.” I replied.
Just then the number 2 drove up. I was saved! But no one else was.
“OH lucky me! That was good timing wasn’t it?!?! Even though I’m BLACK!” She spat at no one in particular.
The people around me were stifling their laughter in that ever-passive aggressive Pacific Northwest way. We formed a line (about 15 people wanted to get on the 2) but trifle things like manners and patience were not to be considered with this lady. She cut in front of everybody walked right up to the door saying “Excuse me, Pardon me.” And got on the bus. Nobody was ready to object to this blatant lack of bus etiquette because nobody was any taller than her shoulders.
Finally, all had boarded and we were on our way. The bus was full so I was standing in the aisle towards the front. I turned around to check where the crazy lady was. She was in a 2 seater facing front near the back door. Apparently the bus was too full for her. Because at the next stop when the driver let more people on she bellowed “DRIVER! There’s too many people on this bus! Stop letting them on! It’s too crowded.” He ignored her. Just then, apparently someone accidentally touched her when the bus started off again. “OW! Stop touching me! SHIT! You could at least say ‘Excuse me!’ God, you stupid BITCH!” She leaned over to the person next to her. “Do you know where I can get 3 candy bars for a dollar?” The poor lady next to her said, “Uh, I think there’s a Rite Aid at the next stop.”
So at the next stop the crazy lady stood up and said, “Excuse me, pardon me, I’m trying to get off!” Then she paused. “And I farted. That was my prerogative.” As soon as the doors closed, the entire bus erupted with laughter.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Wooooo!! I'm a YouTube star, finally! I'd like to thank the academy...and Dee Dee's son Ryan, who produced this clip and posted it for me. No autographs please.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
What are your children doing while they’re at daycare?
Apparently cruising around downtown Seattle on the metro bus.
This past Friday I made a trip to West Seattle and being a bit of a sheltered eastside bus rider I was really looking forward to a ride on the infamous 22.
I used the metro online trip planner, found that Bus 15 turns into 22 and the trip from lower Queen Anne takes 40 minutes. Easy.
I get on the 15, and not wanting to be too cocky quickly confirm with the driver that this bus will indeed become the 22. As she starts pulling away from the curb, tells me NO (idiot!) but I can get off later and will be able to catch the 22. I take a deep breath, think to myself that’s doable and make my way down the aisle.
The bus is hot, loud and full of kids. Lots and lots of kids… in fact the ratio of kids to adults was a little concerning. Once we get into the ride free zone, “savory” riders begin to crowd on the bus. The children are piled three to a seat, the aisles are full and wack jobs are making conversation with the 3 year olds. The adults are hollering at the kids to keep their bottoms on the seats. From my expert eavesdropping, I gather this group of kids (one all the way from Bainbridge Island) are on their way back to daycare to take a nap after their big outing.
That got the wheels turning. If and when I pay the big bucks to put my kids in daycare… do I really want them riding around on the city bus? No seatbelts, a low ratio of adults, and lots of chaos. The same bus that we adults can barely handle?
I got off, waited for the 22 and close to two hours later made it safe and sound.
I’m going to revert back to living vicariously through future 22 blog posts. And on the bright side, I’m sure these children have built a lot of character—at the tender age of 3.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
The interesting thing to me is the fact that I saw this same, extremely intoxicated man sitting at my bus stop a few months back, surrounded by firefighters. I asked if I should keep going to the next stop and they said I'd be fine here--they just needed to coax him into the ambulance so they could take him to a shelter. They told me he had passed out at the bus stop from a day of heavy drinking (it was 4 p.m.). I actually feel sorry for this guy and something tells me I'll be seeing him again.